1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,003
♪ grandiose music playing ♪

2
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,512
♪ theme song playing ♪

3
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♪

4
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,583
[alarm clock beeping]

5
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:42,918
[alarm stops]

6
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- Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

7
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Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
- Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!

8
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,554
- I'll change Stinky.
You serve breakfast to Picky.

9
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- I'm not picky!

10
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,684
Ew, gross! You got egg white in my egg!

11
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:01,562
[Mandy struggling]
- Ugh! Just get dressed, Mandy!

12
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,689
- These are kids' clothes, Mom!

13
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I'm not wearing these!

14
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,984
- Me neither!
[squishing]

15
00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,861
[grunts]
[splat, sizzle]

16
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- Ew, gross!
You got egg white on his diaper.

17
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♪

18
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:17,452
[rattling]
- I don't get why my kids are so spoiled.

19
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We have tons of money,
we give them everything they want,

20
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and still totally spoiled!

21
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- Your kids should see how
I grew up in the Orphanarium.

22
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[whack]
Ugh. We could only dream

23
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of being spoiled and obnoxious.

24
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[blows raspberry]

25
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- Oh yeah?
[blows flaming raspberry]

26
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- Hey, does the Orphanarium
allow visitors?

27
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,265
You know,
so people can feel good about themselves,

28
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and also frighten their own children?

29
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- Sure! It's called volunteering.

30
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♪ upbeat music playing ♪

31
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- Ew! This place smells worse than Mandy!

32
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- Does not!
- Well, I, for one,

33
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,408
think volunteering is a fantastic idea.

34
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I wouldn't miss it for the world.

35
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[phone ringing]

36
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- Lieutenant Kroker!
Report for emergency briefing.

37
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- Oh, thank God. I'll be back in a month!

38
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[frantic panting]

39
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[buzzer]
[door creaks]

40
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[children giggling]

41
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- Warden Vogel!

42
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- Leela! It seems like only yesterday

43
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,554
you were this tall
and riddled with scurvy.

44
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[both laughing]

45
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,557
- Lot of bad memories.

46
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- Is this gonna be my new family?

47
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,896
- No, Albert.
These folks are here to provide

48
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:29,107
useless, unskilled labor,
not adopt you.

49
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,359
- Oh, thank God.

50
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:35,197
- Get ready for some super fun
hands-on volunteer work.

51
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,615
[fly buzzing]
[water drips]

52
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,242
But don't touch anything.

53
00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:41,703
- It's snack time, so you can start
by cutting these grapes in half.

54
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,997
- Ah, so the little ones don't choke.

55
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,999
- No, so there's enough to go around.

56
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,544
[annoyed sigh]
[snipping]

57
00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:50,045
Next, cut the blankets.

58
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,172
[bubbling]

59
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,633
- This soup smells delicious!

60
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,552
Can I help serve and eat it, yum-yum?

61
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- You've gotta make it first.
That's just tap water.

62
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[gurgling]

63
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- Mm, chunky.

64
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[slurping]

65
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,896
- Shall I take this putrid trash out?

66
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,315
- That isn't trash. It's the donation bin.

67
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,942
Donors put their trash in it.

68
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,695
- Okay, kids, line up.
[kids cheer]

69
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,196
Each child will receive

70
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precisely 0.6 kilograms of toy.

71
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Two-thirds of a basketball for you,

72
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a clump of melted army men for you,

73
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three stuffed animals
with tomato sauce for you,

74
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and a tricy-- uh, bicycle for you.
[clatters]

75
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Albert, you get a cookie.
- Yum!

76
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[chomp]
[tire pops, deflates]

77
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♪ dramatic sting ♪

78
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,344
- This used to be my room.

79
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It's the only one with a window.

80
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[raccoon chittering]

81
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,601
That's Bandit.
He gave me my first rabies.

82
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- This is way nicer than my room at home!

83
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,899
Mine has too much furnitures.

84
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And it's all so matchy-matchy.
[squish]

85
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And her toys have lots of sauce on them!

86
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Mine don't have any! [crying]

87
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- You want me to kick her?

88
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♪ bright music playing ♪

89
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- Here you go.

90
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[plate shatters]
And one for you.

91
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[plate shatters]
[baby talk] And one for you.

92
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[plate slides, shatters]

93
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[normal]
Ah. It just feels so good to help.

94
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- Can you fix our table, Mr. Shiny Pants?

95
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- I thought you'd never ask!

96
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,434
[grunts]
[children cheer]

97
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,728
- Can you bend my spoon straight?

98
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,105
- No problem, kid. [grunts]

99
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How'd that happen anyway?

100
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,276
- Damien did it. With his brain.

101
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♪ eerie music playing ♪

102
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- My man, Damien!

103
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[antenna squeaks]
[yelps]

104
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[bird caws]

105
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:46,286
- I apologize, kids.
That was just horrible!

106
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,789
I'll buy you all ponies to make up for it.

107
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,832
- Mine better be a big one!

108
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,584
- Hey, where's Mandy?

109
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[bed squeaking]
[kids laugh]

110
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- I love it here! Whee!

111
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[bed smashes]

112
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[laughter]

113
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- Wanna play toys?

114
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,099
The raccoon lick'ded
some of the p'sghetti sauce off.

115
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:10,102
- Aw, so cute!
[squishing]

116
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Hi! My name is Bearinara!
[giggles]

117
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I like your ear!

118
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[giggles]

119
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[squishing]
- I like your big empty forehead.

120
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[both laugh]

121
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- You're a little green froggy
just like my daddy!

122
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[smooch]

123
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♪ dramatic sting ♪

124
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- Mandy! Stop kissing garbage!

125
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- But, we're having fun!

126
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- Come on. It's time to go.

127
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- Can I at least give her a hug goodbye?

128
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- [whispers]
I said not to touch anything dirty.

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♪ sad music playing ♪

130
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[feet scraping]

131
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♪ dramatic music playing ♪

132
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,764
- Reporting for briefing, sir!

133
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,808
- You know, Kif, among certain females,

134
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I'm better known for my de-briefing.

135
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[laughing]
[Kif groans]

136
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,900
- At ease, gentlemen.
[startled grunt]

137
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,695
- Admirella? And in combat uniform?

138
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,113
This must be important.

139
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,740
- Very important, Lieutenant.

140
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,034
What I'm about to show you is top secret.

141
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,995
That's why I've been keeping it
close to my chest.

142
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,496
[unzipping]
- Uh...

143
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,124
- I-I should get a map like that for Amy.

144
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,752
- Unidentified hostile aliens
have wiped out

145
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,712
several of our remote bases

146
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,839
here, here, and here.
[beeping]

147
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,758
- I've been to two of those bases.

148
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,843
- And they're on a direct course for...

149
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,970
well, I'm not at liberty to say,

150
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,473
but one of the DOOP's
most important planets.

151
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,267
- Not Amphibios 9, my home world?!

152
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:36,980
[both laughing]

153
00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,441
- Important means Earth, Lieutenant.

154
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:42,819
The very survival of Earth is at stake.

155
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,364
Pfft. Amphibios 9.

156
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,366
[both laughing]

157
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,660
♪ ominous crescendo ♪
- Oh, ho, ho.

158
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,788
♪

159
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:53,789
[splashing]

160
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,874
- Those orphans sure taught us a lot

161
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,627
about not being spoiled.
Right, kids?

162
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,839
- [sniffing]
Are these domestic bath salts?

163
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,298
What are we, bankrupt?

164
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,718
- I miss Sally. And her fuzzly toys.

165
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:09,471
- I'll get you a clean new fuzzly toy.

166
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:11,181
I'm sure you can find them anywhere.

167
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,599
♪ dramatic sting ♪

168
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,976
Sold out?

169
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:14,977
♪ dramatic sting ♪

170
00:07:14,977 --> 00:07:16,979
- Sold out?!

171
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,397
♪ dramatic sting ♪

172
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:19,815
- Ah. There they are.

173
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,068
[all arguing]

174
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,362
Hey!
- Grab. Hands off my kajigger!

175
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,905
It's a present for my whatsit!

176
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,324
- Your whatsit's too old
to play with kajiggers.

177
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,785
[both struggling]

178
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,582
- Ooh! Looks like we've got
a little Fuzzy Funbag collector!

179
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:39,334
- People collect these things?
- Oh God, yes.

180
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:42,087
From the moment I nabbed
my first one, I was like...

181
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,590
♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪

182
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,800
[electronic jingle playing]
SIGN: ♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪

183
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,887
- Now that I know they're hard to get,
I want them!

184
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,763
[punch lands]
- Ow!

185
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:53,891
- There! I collected 'em all.

186
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:57,394
- Oh, honey,
that's not even close to 'em all.

187
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,396
You've got, like, 195 to go.

188
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,566
- Shman. Then, I better get started.

189
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,735
- Hey!
- Oh, grow up.

190
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,613
♪ triumphant music playing ♪

191
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:08,864
[computer alert]
[gasps]

192
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,450
A Bitey Bedbug came up on bBay!

193
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,744
[scoffs]
[clicks remote]

194
00:08:13,744 --> 00:08:15,746
- In business news...
- Turn that off!

195
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,707
- ...the Fuzzy Funbag index
hit an all-time high today--

196
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,375
[beep]
- [gasps] Turn that on!

197
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,877
- Experts agree,

198
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,880
the mass-produced bags
can only go up in value,

199
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,798
much like Bitcoin or tulips.

200
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,051
- Gotta collect 'em all.

201
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:32,054
♪ spirited music playing ♪

202
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,096
[gasps]

203
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,849
[squishing, pop]

204
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:38,769
♪ dark music playing ♪

205
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,275
[inaudible]

206
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,153
Hm...

207
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,821
One to go.

208
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,782
Cashew CuddleFish,

209
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,493
I'm gonna collect you so hard!

210
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:57,996
♪

211
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,665
- Business is booming!

212
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:02,584
We're delivering whatever
these things are by the millions!

213
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:03,919
[yelps]

214
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,839
- This one! The CuddleFish!
Has anyone seen it?!

215
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:10,133
- You seem kinda worked up, Amy.
Though it is awful cute.

216
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,553
Gimme that drawing!
[both struggle]

217
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,014
- You know, there's actually
quite a bit of science

218
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,475
behind the concept of cuteness.

219
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:21,144
- Ooh! Lecture, lecture!
[beep]

220
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,729
PROFESSOR:
Since baby mammals

221
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,399
have relatively large eyes at birth,

222
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:28,026
we evolved to find that cute,

223
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:31,864
so we'd care for our offspring
instead of strangling them.

224
00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,991
- Clever little bastards.

225
00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,368
[beep]
- Let's run an experiment.

226
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,786
[cart rattling]

227
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,080
I'm going to show a series of images,

228
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,291
and my cu-trometer will measure

229
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,085
how loud you say "aww."

230
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,086
[beep]

231
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,504
ALL:
Aww.

232
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,715
[beep]
[louder] Aww!

233
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,384
[beep]
[even louder] Aww!

234
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,552
[beep]

235
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:54,678
- Ew!
- Yuck!

236
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:58,515
- Correct! This face has
zero cuteness coefficient.

237
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,602
The pinprick pupils
are ugly and off-putting.

238
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,270
- Turn it off! Turn it off!

239
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,107
- But these Funbags,
why, they take it to the next level!

240
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,692
[beep]

241
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,153
ALL [loudest] Aww!
[beeping, breaking]

242
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:14,907
- Our desire to obtain them
is beyond our control.

243
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,117
- I don't know
if it's literally beyond our--

244
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,118
[alarm blaring]

245
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,245
A CuddleFish is up for auction!

246
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,623
[piercing shriek, laugh]

247
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,416
[tires screeching]

248
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:28,337
Just sneak in and pretend
to be orphans till I get back!

249
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,590
Go, go, go!
[engine roaring, tires squealing]

250
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:35,093
♪ posh music playing ♪

251
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,428
[auction chatter]

252
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,474
Wow. You own your own bidding paddle?

253
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,809
- I own my own number.

254
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:46,563
- We now start the bidding for the rarest
and cutest of all Funbags.

255
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,649
Cashew the CuddleFish.

256
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,234
[audience ooh's and aww's]

257
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:53,111
- All the money in
my children's college funds!

258
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,404
[audience gasps]

259
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,741
- Madam, that bid is more
than makes any sense.

260
00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,868
We have More Than Makes Any Sense,
More Than Makes Any Sense.

261
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,329
Do I hear More Than Makes
Any Sense and a Half?

262
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,790
[squishing]
[audience murmurs]

263
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,375
We have More Than Makes
Any Sense and a Half.

264
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,794
Do I hear Girl, Are You
Kidding Me Right Now?

265
00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,879
- You only live once, Mother.

266
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,173
[mutters]
Although it's been a very long once.

267
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,467
- Girl, are you kidding me right now?

268
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,468
- Ow!

269
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,512
- Objection! Stop the bidding!

270
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,597
This Funbag is a fake!

271
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,391
[audience gasps]
AMY: What?!

272
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,059
- Note how the fabric on the underseam

273
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,395
is a slightly lighter shade
than it should be.

274
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,022
And instead of reading
"Cashew CuddleFish,"

275
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,107
the tag reads,

276
00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:31,733
"Knockoff Phonyfish."

277
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,319
- You're a professional Funbag appraiser!

278
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,530
How did you not notice that before?

279
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,741
- Honestly, I was just too
distracted by its cuteness.

280
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:43,704
- Ugh!
Has anyone even seen a real CuddleFish?

281
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,247
Maybe they don't exist!

282
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:48,625
Maybe it's all just some kinda
sick, fuzzy-wuzzy game!

283
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,544
- Now, now, calm down.

284
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:53,547
Remember, Miss Wong,
you have actual kids to hug.

285
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,507
- Who? Oh, right!

286
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:59,094
- [gasps] That stain
looks like a moldy bunny.

287
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:02,222
MANDY:
That one looks like a cockaroach!

288
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,515
Oh, it ran away.

289
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,934
Let's play Funbags!

290
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,063
- Come on, Mandy,
let's go home and take a bath

291
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,773
and incinerate those clothes.

292
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,192
♪ dramatic sting ♪

293
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:15,485
[gasping]

294
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,778
[thud]

295
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,782
♪ fanciful music playing ♪

296
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,659
♪ slightly tense music playing ♪

297
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,911
- Wow.

298
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,413
What an interesting little toy.

299
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,833
- It is? What's interesting about it?

300
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,877
- I mean, nothing really.

301
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,671
They're just... so fun to trade, right?

302
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,673
- Why do you sound weird, Mom?

303
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,759
- [stilted]
I don't sound weird.

304
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,761
Go wait in the car!

305
00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,973
[normal]
That one is so dirty.

306
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,643
Wouldn't you rather have
some nice clean ones?

307
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:50,270
- No, I like my dirty one better.

308
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,897
It matches me.

309
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,400
- Oh, b-but this purple lion
is slightly rare!

310
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,194
And I'll throw in a whole bag

311
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,988
of gold variant hugger whales.

312
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,032
- You can just have it if you want.

313
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,283
- Take the deal!

314
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,203
♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

315
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,372
- Approaching Outpost Merveena 6,

316
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,457
the latest base to fall silent.

317
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,043
- I have a weird feeling about this, Kif.

318
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,671
Set tension level to maximum.

319
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:16,672
[sighs]

320
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,508
[tense whirring]

321
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:22,511
♪ tense music playing ♪

322
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:25,806
♪ dramatic sting ♪

323
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,432
Holy fri-jo-les!

324
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,226
It's horrifying!

325
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,269
After you, Kif.

326
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,812
[grunts]

327
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,566
- Their windpipes and rib cages
have been crushed.

328
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,985
It's as if they had their very lives
cuddled out of them!

329
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,445
[typing]
ZAPP: Let's check the security footage.

330
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,699
Whoever arrived here last
must be the massacre-er.

331
00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:46,159
[audio rewinding]
[static]

332
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:48,537
[Kif gasps]

333
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:51,164
- That's Amy's boss' delivery crew's ship!

334
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:54,459
[dolly squeaking]

335
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,253
[bottles clatter]

336
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,504
[Bender giggles]

337
00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,674
- They just made a harmless delivery
and stole some stuff.

338
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,259
Nothing illegal about that.

339
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,678
[ship roaring]

340
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,806
Some monster must've
stowed aboard that ship,

341
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,933
then murdered everything here...

342
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,602
To the death.

343
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,604
- Do you think it's still around? [gasps]

344
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:15,856
Or maybe already headed to Earth?

345
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,357
- I don't think.

346
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,027
I run away! [whimpering]

347
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,571
- Oh, I hope Amy and the kids are alright.

348
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,947
[panting]

349
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:28,535
Can't go on a work trip and not bring back
a cute present. [panting]

350
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,455
♪

351
00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:34,583
- So, after long
and careless consideration,

352
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,668
your pension is now fully invested

353
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,378
in Fuzzy Funbags.

354
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,881
- It's just prudent.
[Zapp panting]

355
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,550
- Any alien invaders around here?

356
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,843
- Uh-oh. The fuzz!

357
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:48,055
- Something wiped out
the outpost at Merveena 6.

358
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,806
- But, we were just there!

359
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:53,185
- Uh, they had a precious vase!
Much like this one!

360
00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:56,939
- Some unthinkable horror
may have stowed away in your cargo hold.

361
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,190
What were you delivering?

362
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:00,526
- The only thing
we deliver anywhere anymore.

363
00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,569
Fuzzy Funbags. Like that.

364
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,987
♪ dramatic sting ♪

365
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,572
- Exactly like this?

366
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,200
- Let me see that Funbag.

367
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,704
Scalpel.

368
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:16,542
[fabric ripping]
[all gasping, gagging]

369
00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,377
My God!

370
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:19,628
- What? What's in there?

371
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:23,006
- Little plastic beads! Or beans!

372
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,676
- What did you expect?
It's a beanbag.

373
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,389
- Whoa, this is no bean.

374
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:32,766
It's alive!
- Aren't beans alive?

375
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,142
- Cork it, nerd!

376
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,727
[beeping]

377
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,730
[whirring]
[slicing, squishing]

378
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,148
[all gasp]
ZOIDBERG: Yum.

379
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,986
- The entire organism
is filled with spores!

380
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:47,489
It's essentially just
one big reproductive organ.

381
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,409
- Much like certain humans,
eh, Leela? [clicks tongue]

382
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:52,619
- Is it possible these little fun bags

383
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,663
could've caused such devastation?

384
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,707
- Not on their own, no.

385
00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:58,375
They have no brain!

386
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,794
- Much like certain humans, eh, Leela?

387
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,337
Eh-- No, uh, wait.

388
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:05,966
- There would have to be some
malicious variant to command them.

389
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,718
A highly unusual one

390
00:16:07,718 --> 00:16:10,596
with diabolical intelligence.

391
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:12,806
"The Alpha Funbag."

392
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,183
♪ dramatic sting ♪

393
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:16,310
- ♪ I got it, I got it! ♪

394
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,437
♪ The rarest in the world! ♪

395
00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:22,733
♪ By ripping off a little orphan girl! ♪

396
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,945
I'm a terrible person. [sobbing]

397
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:30,490
♪ sad music playing ♪

398
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,911
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

399
00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:37,456
- So these Funbags are invading Earth?
How is that possible?

400
00:16:37,456 --> 00:16:40,918
- Cuteness is a brilliant
evolutionary strategy.

401
00:16:40,918 --> 00:16:42,669
They can't build spaceships,

402
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,963
or even their own shelves to sit on.

403
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,381
- Heh-heh, losers.

404
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,841
- But they don't have to.

405
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,844
They evolved to be irresistibly cute,

406
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:54,389
so fools like everyone but me
would collect them.

407
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:57,768
This is an invasion where
we're buying the invaders

408
00:16:57,768 --> 00:17:00,062
and bringing them into our homes!

409
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:03,732
- Like my black mold Chia Pet?
[coughing]

410
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,776
- What would their leader look like?

411
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:07,194
- The Alpha Funbag?

412
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,530
Well, it wouldn't be a common one,

413
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:10,739
like Chutney the Chipmunk

414
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,367
or Extincty the Black Rhino.

415
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:16,662
No, it would be rare and expensive.

416
00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,581
- One only within
the purview of a top collector,

417
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:22,584
such as myself, or Amy.
Mm-hmm.

418
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,545
- Or Amy?

419
00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:25,546
- Mm-hmm.

420
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:28,298
♪ mysterious music playing ♪

421
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,051
- Mandy, Mommy did something wrong,

422
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,053
and it's time to make it right.

423
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,265
- You mean abandoning us for weeks
to go toy shopping?

424
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,851
- No, but that was also an oopsie.

425
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:41,103
Here you go, Albert.

426
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,480
And this one's for you, Nina.

427
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,274
- Got one to spare for a warden

428
00:17:45,274 --> 00:17:48,819
with an empty space on his shelf?
And in his heart?

429
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,362
- Of course!

430
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:52,030
Enjoy, kids.

431
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:55,993
I'm donating my whole collection
to the Orphanarium!

432
00:17:55,993 --> 00:17:59,955
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

433
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:03,125
- I'm back!

434
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,835
- [gasps] Mandy!

435
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:07,796
I was scareded I'd never see you again.

436
00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,215
- Sally, I did a bad thing.

437
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,509
Taking away your special toy.

438
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,636
It's rare and valuable,

439
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,638
and it belongs to you.

440
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,307
- It's okay, you can keep it.

441
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:20,642
I like the one you gave me more.

442
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,854
- That cheap common one
that anybody can get?

443
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,355
Are you crazy?!

444
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,523
- It's special to me,

445
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,985
'cause it's the first time a mommy
ever gived me a present.

446
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,820
♪ heartwarming music playing ♪

447
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:34,114
- Please, please take it back.

448
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:37,534
- Mm-mmm. It's important to you
in some grown-up way,

449
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,661
but to me, it's just a toy.

450
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,289
- But that's the most
important thing it can be.

451
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,917
Just take it and have fun.

452
00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:48,337
- No! It's only fun to play with someone,

453
00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,297
especially Mandy.

454
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,549
Is she allowed to play with me again?

455
00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:57,262
- You and Mandy can play together
as much as you want.

456
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,764
- Then, okay.

457
00:18:58,764 --> 00:19:00,015
[squishing]

458
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,934
[Amy and Sally struggle]

459
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:04,228
- Mommy, you're not letting go of it.

460
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:06,522
[grunting, gasps]

461
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:09,441
- You'll be okay. It's just a toy.

462
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,069
[blinking]
- [deep, scratchy voice] Let's cuddle!

463
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:15,072
[screaming]

464
00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:18,116
♪ ominous music playing ♪

465
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:21,954
[scared whimpering]

466
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,539
♪

467
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,082
♪ dramatic sting ♪

468
00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:26,625
[Zapp humming heroic charge music]

469
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,168
- Ow.

470
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,753
[gasps]
[door creaks]

471
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:30,963
[all gasp]

472
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:32,881
- [grunts] Help!

473
00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:36,134
[squeezing]
It's... hugging my... neck!

474
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,387
[choking]

475
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:40,013
- Fear not!

476
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,057
Kif, put him out of his misery.

477
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:43,100
[zap]

478
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,227
[rattling]

479
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,854
[comical popping]

480
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,480
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

481
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,523
- Ah!

482
00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:51,900
- Dear lord!

483
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,777
When the Funbags explode,

484
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,071
it triggers the beans to hatch!

485
00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,990
- So how are we supposed to kill them?

486
00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,617
- With my monkey-killing barrel,
of course.

487
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,995
Just place the fun bags in and...

488
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:03,996
[imitates cutting throat]

489
00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:05,330
[kids whimpering]

490
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,915
- You've met your match,

491
00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:09,626
tiny motionless cuddly animal.

492
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,254
♪ heartwarming music playing ♪

493
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,048
I can't do it. It's too adorable!

494
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:18,093
- Don't be ridiculous. Give it to me.

495
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:19,887
♪ music continues ♪

496
00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:21,847
Oh! Dammit!

497
00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:24,391
- The cuteness is too much, even for me!

498
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,643
And I believe Bambi's mother deserved it!

499
00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,938
- It's no use. We're totally outgunned.

500
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,691
AMY: Kif! Help!
- Amy!

501
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,401
[whimpering]

502
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,153
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

503
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:37,821
♪ creepy cute music playing ♪

504
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,782
- Cuddle formation!

505
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,075
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

506
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,369
Forward, hug!

507
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,038
♪ dramatic crescendo ♪

508
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:48,498
- I'm scared, Mama! I need a hug!

509
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:51,793
- No, Mandy! Whatever you do, no hugging!

510
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,963
♪ tense music playing ♪

511
00:20:56,465 --> 00:20:58,842
- [whispers]
We mustn't release the spores,

512
00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:00,802
so don't shoot anything.

513
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:04,598
- How could I?
Their eyes are just so big and cute.

514
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:06,350
♪ dramatic sting ♪

515
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:09,394
Ah! Those tiny pinprick pupils!

516
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:12,064
[zapping]

517
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:15,651
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

518
00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:18,820
[popping]

519
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,323
[all screaming]

520
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:24,076
[screaming, wailing]

521
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:26,662
[phone ringing]
- Amy, I may not make it!

522
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:29,414
You've got to kill the Alpha Funbag!

523
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,083
- The Alpha Who-bag?

524
00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:34,336
- The leader! The leader! [choking]

525
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:35,420
[static]

526
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,713
- That's it!

527
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:39,842
Nobody gets to hug Kif to death but me!

528
00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,553
Prepare to die!

529
00:21:42,553 --> 00:21:44,179
- You can't kill me!

530
00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:46,807
I'm the cutest thing in the universe!

531
00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:49,101
- Wrong! Because to a mother,

532
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:52,479
the cutest thing in the universe
is her own child.

533
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,189
[choking]

534
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,483
[Mandy choking]
[Cashew CuddleFish laughing]

535
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,443
- Mom! Stop it!

536
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,653
- Oops!

537
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:02,447
[sniffles] Goodbye...

538
00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:04,324
[coughing]

539
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,828
- I know you said not to hug,
but we're gonna!

540
00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:10,038
- Yeah, let's do.

541
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:13,208
- Yes. Come give me a nice hug.

542
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,918
You're making this too easy!

543
00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:17,504
[evil laughter]

544
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:20,591
[crunching]
[gagging] Hey!

545
00:22:20,591 --> 00:22:23,552
You're hugging too hard!

546
00:22:23,552 --> 00:22:25,345
[gasping, groans]

547
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:34,229
- [panting] Am I too late?

548
00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:38,192
- No, but I may be a little
snuggle-shy for a while.

549
00:22:38,192 --> 00:22:41,695
- That's okay.
Although, I did just get you a map suit.

550
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,324
- The Alpha Funbag is dead?

551
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:47,367
How on earth did you do it?!

552
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:50,370
- Cute recognize cute.

553
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:52,164
[popping]

554
00:22:52,164 --> 00:22:53,957
♪ dramatic music playing ♪

555
00:22:53,957 --> 00:22:55,709
[screaming]

556
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:56,960
[heavy thudding]

557
00:22:58,629 --> 00:23:01,715
- Hm. It seems the CuddleFish
has been reduced

558
00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:03,342
to a common variant,

559
00:23:03,342 --> 00:23:05,427
with no special powers.

560
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,095
- That's a convenient relief.

561
00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:10,015
- And look how many
rare ones there are now.

562
00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:11,433
We're all rich!

563
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,685
[all cheering]

564
00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:17,606
- They may be lousy toys,
but they're a great investment.

565
00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:19,900
And I collected 'em all!

566
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,903
♪ gentle music playing ♪

567
00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:27,533
♪ operatic vocalizing ♪

568
00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:30,869
[bulldozer engine roaring]

569
00:23:30,869 --> 00:23:33,664
- ♪ Gotta collect 'em, gotta collect 'em ♪

570
00:23:33,664 --> 00:23:36,041
♪ Gotta collect 'em all! ♪

571
00:23:37,251 --> 00:23:40,254
♪